Autism and Self-Care
What is self-care? Self-care is care provided for you, by you. “Self-care refers to activities undertaken with the intention of enhancing energy, restoring health and reducing stress,” according to Ellen Newman from the Hunter Institute of Mental Health, (now Everymind). It can increase enjoyment in our lives; help us to cope with stressful events and sadness; achieve goals and potential; maintain positive connections with others; better equip us to support our children; and increase our resilience, (the ability to recover quickly from difficulties).
Self-Care is specifically important for autism parents and caregivers, as researchers commonly report that parents of children with autism experience more stress than parents of typically developing children or those diagnosed with other disabilities (e.g., Down syndrome or cerebral palsy). Having a child with autism often places parents/caregivers in the role of not only parent, but teacher, therapist and case manager. This can be a lot for anyone. Autism is a lifelong journey for most families. It asks a lot of us. We are not just managing our children’s daily lives, but navigating complex systems to obtain appropriate supports for them. Daily self-care can help us to manage this.
Gretchin Rubin, a writer who explores human nature, states “If I give more to myself, I can ask more from myself.” Many of us would do anything in our power to help our children. However, if we are feeling tired and overwhelmed, we can not help anyone. We must remember to practice replenishing ourselves on a daily basis. If you do not think you can do this for yourself, think of your loved ones. Do it for them. Within time, I promise, you will see the benefits. I used to think that taking time for myself was taking time away from my son, but as I started to practice my own daily self-care routines, I was able to see the benefits in my daily life. I no longer felt drained and rundown, because I was sleeping better at night, which meant that I had more energy. This energy helped me to be more present, and the time I spent with my son was of higher quality.
Self-care is not easy. It is a practice. You are probably wondering where to even start. First, start by asking yourself some questions. What are the activities that help you refuel and bring you the peace, comfort and energy needed to be your best self? You can think big, (a vacation alone), but also think of smaller daily opportunities like calling a friend, keeping a daily gratitude list, spending time outside, watching a favorite show. What type of music brings you joy? What activities make you completely lose track of time? Do you love hiking, doing yoga, playing basketball, reading, visiting museums or simply taking a leisurely walk? Find time to focus on what brings joy to your life. This in and of itself can be a form of self care.
If you are having trouble coming up with some ideas, here are a few:
Exercise
Rest
Deep breathing/relaxation exercises, meditation
Individual, marital or family counseling
Prayer
Writing in a journal
Respite
Join a support group
Please commit to making self-care a daily part of your day. Start small, even if it is for five minutes a day. Notice how taking time for yourself makes you feel. When you are ready, slowly increase your time engaging in self-care activities. Over time, you will start to see the benefit of taking care of yourself. Be well and take care of you!
